You Will Give Me This Raise!

Some other good dwight quotes while we're at it, it is Monday after all:

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.


When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.


I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

Some Salary Negotiation Tips

First off, lets put this 1.2% annual raise junk aside.  That is not a raise, that doesn't even keep up with inflation!  Unless you make $500k per year, in which case you 1.2% raise is better than many of our take home pay!!

Alright, lets get going, give me some salary tips!

1. Ask for the raise, and ask HIGH

2. Answer your bosses first response with silence, and the classic line "is that really all you can do"

3. Bring a job offer from another company, this always gets em!

4. Ask for non-monetary raises (vacation time maybe?)

5. Cry

6. Don't Cry.  Seriously

7. Show your accomplishments and the revenue impact on your business

8. Show market rate for comparable positions

9. Ask for a job title increase at least if there's a raise freeze (so you should get a double raise next time to make up for it)

10. Set goals for a short time period (month, quarter etc) and tie hitting them to salary raises

What are your favorite salary tips?

Seriously, don't cry.  There's no crying in baseball!